At some point in life, we will go through heartbreak. Some are lucky enough to experience just one or two while others have gone through so many heartbreaks they lose count. No matter how strong you are, heartbreak always strikes; really hard at first. The question is how do you deal with your heartbreak if it is a very bad one? There are certain things that you have to know when someone breaks your heart or when you have your heart broken.
Breaking up is really hard, and it takes time to go over every memory you have built together. Food you have eaten, places you have been to, or songs you have listened together always trigger and bring back the memories. However, one day you will not have to wake up listening to that sad love song ever again. That is when you are over the heartbreak, and there are things that you should know in the heartbreak stage.
Good things take time, and moving from “we” to “I” also takes a good amount of time. Once it is over, you will realize how much you have learned from the person and the relationship. Falling in and out of love is never easy, but you will go through it eventually. Here are the things that you should know when someone breaks your heart, remember to love yourself more.
1Don’t Let Heartbreak Turn You Into Another Person
There are two things that breakups can do to you: turn you into a better person or a worse person. How you deal with your heartbreak will be the result of who you will be in the next weeks or months. Some bottle up their emotions, get blackout drunk, wake up, and repeat it all over again. Some go out with friends, discuss their problems, and commit to starting a new chapter of a relationship. It is totally understandable that you want to do bad things to turn into someone else to lessen the pain.
The thing is that when it strikes, it is not only your heart that will be broken but also yourself. That is when you let go of things that you should treasure like your goals, values, expectations, and sense of identity. Those are the things that you should always embrace because that’s all you have at the end of the day. Never ever throw yourself into pieces just because someone else did not see your worth.
Love yourself more than you love anyone else, before you love anyone else. Cherish the things that make you who you are. Embrace the valuable things that make you unique. Guess what, somewhere down the line, someone is going to fall head over heels for those little qualities you have. Everyone is special in their own way, so chin up and let that person go if they want to.
2Forgive That Person
Once you find the reason and courage to forgive that one person who breaks you, you will find moving on easier. If you hold grudges or crave those texts, conversations, and good times, it will take months. The longer it takes, the more those memories will haunt you. It is never easy to forget all those places you have been to or those fun things you did together.
One of the most difficult things to do during a heartbreak is to try not to feel the cracks. You know the pain is real when that left chest starts to throb, it hurts you emotionally and physically. You flashback to all the good times, the good things that flew away leaving you with tears and sorrow. But whatever that person did, forgive them.
Forgive them for not asking you why, forgive them for not staying a little longer, forgive them for the lies. Forgive them for the low effort that they have put in, and most importantly, forgive them for choosing to leave. It is okay if you cannot forget, and it is okay if those songs remind you of that person. One day you will wake up with a smile on your face at the thought of needing no more of that person. Oh yes, you will.
Don’t forget to forgive yourself for making that choice of seeing that person, you deserve to be happy no matter what.
3Good Things Take Time
Not the first person you date becomes your one and true love forever, most romances aren’t made to last for a reason. Each person you know teaches you different things in life, and that’s okay when they leave. A huge part of life actually evolves with that, you learn from the people you love, feel for, or trust the most. Sometimes those people tell you the good and bad things in life, sometimes they show you the good and bad things in life. People you date are part of the good and bad things in your life, and that is what you should know.
Let’s say look back to the first person you dated, can you imagine yourself with that person now? That somehow will be the same feeling you will have had with your current heartbreaker now. You constantly grow into the person that you are supposed to be. The people who used to fit in your life now may change as times go by. It is the way it is, and it sucks to think of it this way.
Good things take time, and they are definitely worth the wait. Some people grow old but they are not mature enough when they don’t learn about a lot of things in life. That is when they take people for granted and do wrong things toward other people. That person might have a special place in your heart, but it will not be the same when they leave.
Remember, you are not running away from something special, you are walking towards something better.
4It is Perfectly Okay To Cry
Despite the fact that I appear as a strong and independent woman, I actually cry a lot. I cried watching people getting golden buzzers on Britain’s Got Talent, at my best friend’s weddings, when I hear touching songs, and more. There is no rule that you can only cry at a certain event or occasion, and it is perfectly okay to cry. You are not weak because you cry, you only express the soft side of yourself when you do so.
As a matter of fact, crying makes you feel better and relieved. Let it all out, let the pain sink in for one last time. But remember to wake up a happy person with a smile on your face. Never cry over the same person and over the same problems more than two or three times. The advice is to talk to someone you can trust, and crying with that person will help you to ease the pain. Nobody shall have the power to make you cry your eyes out, and NEVER give anyone that power.
5Life Is Worth Taking Risks
When you love someone, you risk your heart by putting it in the hand of that person. The first thing you should tell yourself is that you are ready for the end when it begins. Take the chance and take the risks. The results will be both good and bad, and either way is worth it. If it is bad, you have learned something from risking that heart of yours. If it is good, you have taken the right kind of risks that you will appreciate.
I have taken a few risks that were worth it. I have learned about easy come and easy go, what goes around comes around, and most importantly, I learn to not give my all. At some point in your life, there will be people who teach you those lessons or even more. Take some risks, watch and learn. You never know how strong you can become unless you expose yourself to some worthy risks. Some people are worth taking risks with, so choose wisely.
6People Walk In And Out Of Your Life
We grow up having a lot of friends both good and bad. The ones who bullied us and the ones who supported us. Many people walk into our lives, some walked out while others choose to stay. Some left with good memories while some did not. Cherish the people who decide to stick with you through thick and thin. That works with both friendships and relationships.
It is understandable that not everyone can match the types of people we want to date. Let’s say you learn every time a person walks out of your life. That one person may leave scars so deep it takes a lot of time to heal, but you will heal. There are many things that you can do to omit that person’s presence from your memories. Closing the curtains and weeping in the dark is not one of them. Happy habits lead to a happier life.
You can still be happy even when the people you loved and trusted the most walk away. Smile and let them go. Thank them for the lesson they have taught you. Open up your mind and accept the truth. You might feel like there is a missing piece, but one day someone will fill that empty space.
7Rejections Suck, But Don’t Let It Sink In
When someone rejects you doesn’t mean that you also need to reject yourself with negative thoughts. Never think that you are less worthy because the person who used to love you does not feel the same anymore. Perhaps it hurts because you want attention, love, and care from the person who cannot provide them to you. When a relationship ends, you miss that person’s voice, you read the old texts, and it hurts you even more. I know that the “there is plenty of fish in the sea” cliché never helps, but it makes its point.
Why would you let a few people who reject you control your thoughts when there are hundreds who don’t do that? That my friends, is why you should always look at the bright side and think positively. One person might treat you wrong, and that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be treated right. Spend a night or two to think about those who care about you and worry about your well-being. Learn to accept rejections because that is the vice-versa kind of thing that happens to every one of us.
8Relationships Are Like Chapters In A Book
Life has a lot of stages, episodes, and chapters, and a majority of us humans have to go through it. Sometimes we learn our life lessons in a very hard way, sometimes it is easier. Relationships are like chapters in a book of our life. Life goes up and down, and relationships are not any different. Some chapters end with a happy ending while some others go south. We have to know that not everything is always good, and not everything goes the way we want it to.
If one person ends your chapter with a bitter and sad ending, turn to the next page. You never know, the next chapter might bring more joy and fun way better than the old ones. Never be afraid to open your heart to the next person, not everyone is wrong or as bad as that prick who broke your heart. Your relationship chapters will end with the right person who puts a smile on your face and treat you right. So keep turning the page until you meet that person, it will totally be worth it.
9Relationships Are Not Always Romantic
If your heart is breaking because the one you are dating is not the one with the sweetest words or the sweetest plans, think again. Not everyone is Romeo, each person has different ways to express their affection towards their partner. That is when you should step back with the limitation of romantic standards on the people around you. Even the sweetest guys break hearts, so open up your mind a bit more and look at the brighter side.
10True Love Is Worth Breaking For
Chances are, you are going to meet and date plenty of people before meeting the special one. With those people, you are going to have your heart stomped on, torn apart, and ripped off into pieces. Over and over again. But hey, the special one will pick up those pieces and put them back together for you. Experience a heartbreak so big that you think it is never going to be the day it will break you down again. That is when you know how to love yourself better, and how you should love a person before putting in all the effort. So thank you, next!
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